Common Name: Caleb Roy
Not so Common Names: John Kane, Monsterbox
Scientific Name: Writerus Fledglingus
Sex: Male
Place of Birth: Gilroy, California
Weight: 135lbs
Height: 5’9”
Eye color: Mostly Green, sometimes Blue
Hair color: Brown

Alignment: Super heroic
Fighting style: Speed/Agility
War Tactic: Precision Strikes
Body Build: Slim, muscular, terribly agile and flexible
Stance: Patient, Calculated, Generous when given opportunity.
School Classification: Unknown

Diplomacy: Honest and Manipulative / Assertive
Political stance: None
Political image: Charismatic

Religion: God

Favorite Superhero: Me
Least Favorite Superhero: Homeland Security Man

Favorite Movie: V for Vendetta
Least Favorite Movie: Mrs. Piggle Wiggle and the Magic Toilet

Love Language: Written
Astrological Sign: Leo
Chinese Zodiac: Rabbit/Cat
Accuracy of Sign Profile: Unknown
Looks for most in a Relationship: Fun, Honesty
Looks for most in a Girl: Must be able to be swept off her feet.

Romance Bio: The taker of this survey is a laughable joke of a human being. As a result he has been known to be somewhat of a sap… sometimes. He even has a sense of humor, but only a slight one. And be warned, he may be prone to bouts of nonsense. He would not be so proud or narcissistic as to state his desirable attributes on a public survey. He knows that telling people how cool you are is the quickest way to get into an argument. If one is curious, merely ask those that know me. ^_^

Favorite Music: Jazz
Least Favorite Music: Rap
Favorite Playing Sports: Halo, Kneeboarding
Least Favorite Playing Sports: Football, Highschool
Favorite Spectator sports: Yamakazi
Least Favorite Spectator Sports: My Little Sister’s morning routine.

General Info

Housebroken: Mostly
Marital Status: Unmarried
Sexual Orientation: Yes
Uni-Brow: No
Self-cleaning: Again, mostly.
Available Upgrades: Enhanced Vision (becomes available when ‘contacts’ equipped), Super Bravery (when in close contact with small impressionable children), Super Strength (must flex for several minutes *sorry Jess, I had to :P), Magical Abilities (occur randomly), Increased Speed, Agility, and Mental Clarity (automatically takes effect when swung at)
Return Policy: 30 days money back guarantee, no super-savers, no rain checks. Any upgrades added within the 30 days will not be compensated.
Shot Record: Up-to-date.
Drug usage: Mountain Dew (may create inebriation)
Virgin: Yes
Neutered and/or Spayed: No
Thoroughbred: No
Pedigree: No
GPA: 3.34 / 4.0
Sanitary Habits: Daily Bathing, Washes Hands, Scrubs behind ears
Unsanitary habits: Driving my car.

Favorite Normal Pet: Turtle
Favorite Abnormal Pet: Anthony Casimire (the tiny Spartan)
Least Favorite Normal Pet: Snakes (they smell)
Least Favorite Abnormal Pet: AIDS
Favorite Role Model: None
Least Favorite Roll model: Barney the Purple Dinosaur

Most Influential Video Game Character: Chrono (Chrono Trigger: SNES)
Least Influential Video Game Character: Anyone still smeared across the tires of my NOD BUGGY!
Favorite Game style: Fast-Paced FPS (basically… HALO)
Best Game Skills: Halo 1 (Sniping or Driving)
Worst Game Skills: Theif (bein’ quiet just ain’t my thing man… sorry Arby)

Likes: (At least 15)
1. Australia (and all that it implies :P)
2. Christmastime
3. Writing
4. Reading
5. Music
6. Occasionally drawing or sketching
7. Making someone feel like they mean everything
8. Warm summer days
9. Halo
10. Wifi (wireless FREE high speed internet
11. Screwing with the minds of telemarketers.
12. Screwing with the minds of online scammers
13. SKYPE (buy stock folks, its gonna be huge)
14. People who are hard to offend
15. People who are easy to humor

Dislikes: (At least 15)
1. People with uselessly violent tempers.
2. People who are easily offended
3. Trigonometry
4. Shopping for purpose
5. Philosophy (traditionalist, basically the same as #4)
6. Writers block
7. Tomatoes! (TOMATOES ARE EVIL!!!)
8. Coleslaw (AND COLESLAW TOO! EWW!)
9. the monsters
10. plastic
11. and dishonesty
12. Arrogant silver elites on legendary who magically survive rockets to the face, twice, and then turn around and yell in your general direction and you die.
13. Waking up early… Ooohhh...
14. Trying to come up with things I dislike just for the sake of a survey
15. Competetiveness for the sake of itself.

It all began this morning. Actually no, let me start over… it all began last night at around… goodness what time was it? Um… 12:45am? Yeah somewhere about there. (sorry, I’m a nutter when it comes to details, this part should actually be pretty quick, then we’ll get into the juicy awesomness…) I left Casimire’s house about that time, he had to get up early for work or something (11am! Pfft!) ;) So I drove home… then I stopped the car in front of the house in the middle of the night and started to get out when I realized that… wait, no I have to go back farther.
YESTERDAY, (wow, because none of this has anything at all to do with why I am actually writing any of this… at all.) So yes, yesterday I was working for a coworker who had volleyball practice and couldn’t make it that night. After work I went to starbucks and got on their wireless internet with the laptop. I got on MSN and of course a certain unnamed Aussie popped on as well and we talked till Arby got on and then we mutually harassed him for a while, then arby and I harassed Jess about Techno… long story.
ANYWAY. Halfway through the conversation the Starbucks server blinks out on account of the giant electrical storm we had last night. They’ve been having problems with it ever since. Desperate, I grab the laptop and bolt out the door, hop in the car and get to Hardees, where Arby is sitting peacefully. We proceed to IM each other from mere inches away. (pathetic people should not be allowed laptops…) Then we talked a bit more. Arby left some time after that to do some writing, I stayed there till my battery died and then I went to Arby’s house also. (Arby is the one known as Casimire to all those who wonder). Arby and I talk and wander around for a while then he has to go sleep and I leave around (you guessed it 12:45am). I get home, I get out of the car, and I realize that my briefcase/attaché case is gone. I have the laptop, but the rest of EVERYTHING is gone. Ah… I must have left it at starbucks… yeah, that place that closed two hours ago… that’s where it is. My laptop was dead, I couldn’t plug it in. It was then I found my house key was also missing… So there I was in the dead of night parked outside my house and nothing to do.
I wasn’t tired… at all. So I went on a walk. I walked about eight miles to just past the high school, then I turned around and walked back. (though I did stop at the Waffle House and had a glass of milk) by the time I got back it was around four thirty AM.) So I found a streetlight and I read into Arby’s book for a while. (Secret!) When the sun started coming up an hour and a half later, I moved to the porch outside the house. When it was finally eight AM, when I knew starbucks was open. I got back into the car and drove to Starbucks. I told them what happened and the gal at the counter was like… “Huh? What? What are you talking about? What is an Apache case?”
“Attachè case.”
“Yeah I don’t know what that is.”
“Go look in the back for something black and leather and sort of like a briefcase.”
Took her three seconds to find it. Their lost and found apparently is not too extensive…
Thank you, I bought something and tipped for their time and then I left. I plugged the laptop in the external outlet in the front of our house and began taking notes on The black book. This will take longer than I thought Arby. I’m on page 8 and I’ve written 6 pages of notes, commentary, and annotation (in Microsoft WORD!!!) Heck you’ll get your time’s worth, but, it will take time. Maybe I’ll just read the whole thing and then I’ll take it back for notes whenever you’re ready.)
In any case. When the folks pulled out at 9 something, I stole inside and re-familiarize myself with the idea of cleanliness. Today is the day that I’m off of work, so after a rather thought provoking conversation with a Jessica Bond herself and an alien with a nasty metal probe, I had a list of things to do that would make the day more full… so to speak. The first of which was to go past Best Buy and ask them about my application. (I have been enduring the grueling process of attempting to become EMPLOYED with this company for two weeks now. This place operates on a three interview system. After a massive application and a massive questionnaire, AKA personality survey from hell. So I took the app two weeks ago and I got a call a week later. I went in for an interview last Monday, it went well enough I thought. Its now Saturday and I figured they might have called back by now. I’ve been gone most of the time either at work or elsewhere and there are no messages on the machine. So, the only thing to do is either assume that they do not want me, or go by the store itself and ask them what’s going on.
After sterilizing the house (first chore of the day) I did in fact begin onto the first thing on my list. I went to best buy.
I get in the door, I go to the counter, I find the kind woman who was in control of my first interview and I say to her “Hello, I was wondering if-”
“Oh are you here for your interview?”
“My what? No, I mean… I don’t think so. I had an interview with you on Monday I was wondering about the status of my application.”
“You were supposed to get a call.”
“I did not receive a call.”
“Well for goodness sakes!” She then toddled off and left me standing haplessly at the counter with my mouth handing open. I closed my mouth and waited.
She reappeared several minutes later. “Is three thirty okay?”
I checked my watch, it said 4:15. “An hour? You mean today in one hour?” I said.
“Yes, he said he’s ready but I thought you might want some time to go change clothes and get yourself looking a bit more professional.” She winked.
“Absolutely, thank you!”
I ran. (okay so I didn’t really run through the store, that would have looked silly. Of course I waited till I got to the parking lot…”
Then I ran.
In the car, ZOOM!
I was back at the house in instants! I ran inside, showered (the heat… yes the heat outside was intense enough that this was necessary… again) I changed, freshened, sort of… and then back into the car! ZOOM!
I went straight to… THE MALL! Haha! What the heck am I doing here you might wonder? I had intended to buy a belt. Being that I do not own a belt and belts look far more professional than without a belt, (or so I had been told)
LL THE BELTS WERE EXTREMEMLY EXPENSIVE. So I never actually got one, I figured if I was to successfully complete a second interview, it would be accomplished by my wits alone! And some luck of course.
I bolted to the interview and got there just in time to be an hour early. (It was a Saturday and they were busy as they were ever going to be, so there was a short delay… like an hour.) I waited patiently of course, and when it came time to do the interview, I assured them it was no problem. And it really wasn’t.
I basically winged it. There was nothing prepared, I had no mindset waiting to aid me in this, I hadn’t thought much aobut it, so everything that came out was either improv or utter honesty, which is of course, the way I would have preferred it. At the near end of it, my interviewer shuffles through some papers until he comes to the salary stuff from the original application. Minimum wage is $5.15 here in the states. I thought I’d be cautious and, because I know best buy pays well even to their part timers, I put my suggested starting base pay at $7. He saw that, looked up, right at me, and started laughing. So I, for a split second had a little panic in my mind. I smiled as if nothing was wrong. He sighed and took a black pen, scratched out the $7 and wrote, $8.25 next to it. Then he extended his hand.
“Welcome aboard.”

I GOT THE JOB!!!! YEAH!!!! My EVIL PLAN IS WORKING! And its paying better than I thought! WOO HOO!

So I now have that something truly awesome to post. Jess! You are at church! Haha! Good place to be. Anyhow! The truly amazing news is something that must be written in extensive detail if only for the mere dramatics of the thing. Unfortunately I do not have time right now to write that much. And there's a good reason! Ack! JOY! Anyway... I will have the post up and readable within... give six hours. (ha. like anyone will have even read THIS six hours from now.) Something amazing has happpened and... well suffice it to say- my evil scheme is working brilliantly, better than even I had hoped!
I will write, review, and of course post the message as soon as possible, but now, I have to go make preparations for the brilliant future! WhEE!!!

My blog has looked very off recently because of a particular entry that managed top do something odd and move my side panel all the way over to... anyway. I'm posting this so it looks normal again. :) I'll eventually come up with something awesome to write. Sooner or later... :)