I got in last night about 20 minutes after the last post (around 5am) The reason for that fortune was that at 5am, David Idleman, my stepdad, leaves for work at the hospital. I was lying in my car, and I hear movement, and a strong mechanical mutter. It's the garage door. And it's happy to see me. So basically I grabbed all of my stuff and bolted forward. I made it under the door just as it was closing again and just in time to see Dave roll away in his truck. I got in and found myself somehow, not at all tired. And even struggled to go to sleep for about 2 hours into the early morning, even watching the sun rise as I rolled beneath the blankets in futile attempts to rest following such excitement. ^_^

I awoke at noon; four to five hours following, and I prepared for work. (Thank God for showers) Made sure I had all the appropriate apparel, and then I took a minute or two to experiment with F.E.A.R. (After a while I'll be sure to post a full review, even though Arby will probably be the only one interested... Oh well) For a brief explanation: F.E.A.R. stands for First Encounter Assualt Recon. The program itself is a next generation FPS and has the audacity to be so graphically stunning that it makes my Dual Core, 64bit, AMB Turion processor with a full gig of RAM laptop- actually lag with some significance... Which isn't possible. (Shrug) The game is hailed as the benchmark of our time for the FPS genre, and screwing around with it as I have, I'd have to say I can present no argument to counter that. I downloaded the game last night; all 1.76 gigabytes of it. Took about 2 hours. I had to restart the computer and the game automatically calibrated itself to suit my system. (Basically it went casually browsing through my computer to check out what kind of processor and graphics card I had, laughed at me, and set the game to minimum performance so that it wouldn't fry my machine. Thanks... what a reassurance.)

So far though, as an initial experience review- I'd describe the game as generously creepy with just a hint of freakism, a slight pinch of basic thrill, and a dollup of mystery. I normally don't describe a high end PC game in the same format as one would a simplistic cookie recipe, but it seemed to fit in this instance.

I'm at Hardees now. Sitting as I do sometimes late into the night, and now seems as good a time as ever to fulfill that Customer description I promised. After all, today I witnessed a perfect example of one. And running the show? My very own Richard Winters.

The "My-Friend-Is-A-Computer-Guru" Customer: Description and Thesis

These creatures can be any variety of shapes and sizes and are growing in number every year, and present a growing threat to the retail technology industry, and themselves. Their general innattention to reason has baffled many psychologists and retail industry associates the world over. They can be often spotted as exhibiting some of the following common charictaristics:

Carrying a Mobile (Cell Phone) - Used to quickly contact their Computer-Guru friend and double check all the stuff you've just told them.
Smug Expression - Generated by the illusion that they possess superior technical support and that they can get it for free.
Paper List - Often details several notes about superior brands or processors, typically drawn up by their Guru before they entered the store.
Travels in Pairs - The two or more rule often applies for this customer. Generally this customer relies heavily on exterior support (thus the Guru) even if it is someone who knows even less about computers than you do; AKA: Husband, wife, pet eskimo, etc.)
Close Cropped Haircut (Males) - I have yet to find an underlying reason for this consistency.
The majority of times, this genre of customer will not even enter a store without having first consulted their 'computer-guru-friend' who, for the sake of simplicity, will be furthermore referred to as the CGF. The dependance upon the information provided by the CGF is usually, entirely void of open-mindedness. The psychology of the CGF customer is mostly paranoia-based with a tendency towards general distrust of salesmen. Beware when attempting to contact them, and use the most careful caution. They can be edgy at times.

A benefit of the CGF customer is an easy ability to tell when they are becoming discontent with the information in your sales pitch. If your CGF customer is wielding a cellular phone (please note that wield is actually the appropriate term) the easiest indicator when giving your pitch is when they begin to toy with the phone, fiddling with it, perhaps opening it as if to check something, or raising it to shoulder level as if to scratch a part of their upper body with the same hand. If any one of these things should begin to occur throughout the pitch it is normally a good idea to ease out of the current topic and perhaps take the sale in a different direction. Watch the customer's reactions to provide an outline for your overall sales strategy and create a more desireable approach for your CGF customer. Also, if at any time during the sale the customer opens the phone and begins dialing their CHF, be advised: BACK THE HECK AWAY - IMMEDIATELY. A direct phone conversation in the middle of a sale is both awkward and disruptive to the sale process. In addition, you will have no idea what crazy stupid the Guru is telling the customer, which means when they get off the phone, you cannot add to or detract from anything they were told without risking a contradiction of the Guru's knowlege, which will often result in a loss of the sale.

For those few CGF customers not carrying a cellular, the best way to gauge their interest and trust is to watch their reaction to your sale directly. Typically the more confusion registers on their face, the less they are likely to believe anything you are saying. This is typically because of the initial knowledge base of the customer. The information they are provided is specific to what the guru has told them, anything else will register as unfamilliar information and will, in all liklihood, just confuse them.

For the daring associate, it is sometimes possible to speak directly to the CGF through the cellular phone. This rarely occurs and takes the cooperative agreement of all three parties to be effective. I witnessed one such a thing today at Best Buy, as Richard Winters boldly took the bull by the horns and spoke with the Guru through the customer's mobile and, to my knowledge at least, successfully completed the sale with the Guru's blessing. Way to go, Richard!

So I awoke this morning and my eye felt like I had a splinter in it. It lasted the majority of the day, and as work drew closer and closer, I began to fear. Glancing at my eye in a mirror, it kinda looked like I had a splinter in it too. It was all red and puffed up around the edges. And, I mean lets face it: no one wants to buy a computer from someone who looks like they're strung out on crack. I wouldn't anyway... I called ahead, they said call again if I am sure I can't make it. I said screw it and came in. People were like- "Whoa, that looks like it hurts!" I'm like "Well, it hurts about like it looks too."

I survived, and the pain subsided by the end of the day. At least enough for me to make one killer sale to this particular woman named Patsy. The gal bought everything bless her heart.

Alright, this is a good long post and I've said everything I want to say and now I'm going to end it because I want to talk to Jess. Goodbye! ^_^